Psychologist in Clontarf
Healing through a safe, human connection can help you regulate your emotions and discover new ways of relating to yourself and others.
Insights
Unsure about therapy?
Welcome, and thank you for taking the first step in researching psychology services. I want to start by mentioning that it is very common for people to be unsure if therapy is right for them. Many people can be nervous about what it will be like or if it will be helpful.
So let's break it down......
Often when someone is looking into therapy, they are at a point where they might be feeling heightened stress, low mood, increased worry, feeling more irritable, or emotionally reactive. There are many reasons why people have times in their lives where things feel harder than usual.
Now, if you started experiencing a painful toothache or a sore on your leg became infected, making an appointment with your doctor or dentist would be your next step to treat the concern. However, for some people, when they feel symptoms of depression or anxiety, such as a loss of interest in things that they used to enjoy, isolation, lack of motivation, increased worry, avoidance, or panic, making a call to a psychologist feels harder.
Could psychology help?
Firstly, finding a therapist who is right for you is important. Research shows that the strongest predictor of progress in therapy is the therapeutic alliance (the quality of the trusting, collaborative relationship between the client and therapist). When you feel comfortable and understood, it is easier to open up and express your thoughts and feelings, which is the start of the therapeutic process.
Secondly, humans are wired to regulate (calm and soothe) with human to human connection. When a client is overwhelmed, being in the physical presence of a calm, grounded therapist allows for contagious calm. Further to this, many people have experienced hurt in the context of relationships (e.g., neglect or rejection). Therapy can offer a corrective experience where taking the risk to be vulnerable within the safety of the therapeutic relationship offers an empathetic and compassionate response, challenging internal narratives, which is part of the healing process.
Finally, the type of strategies and interventions used throughout therapy will depend on a client's symptoms. Using evidence-based interventions targeting specific psychological symptoms can provide clients with more adaptive coping strategies to reduce distress.
So, if you are at a point where you are considering therapy, you have taken the first step already by landing on this page. For more information, please click or to make a booking, please click
If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to email me at:
kirstie@theattachmentspace.com.au
Good Enough
Turns out being a B+ in life is the goal
Back in the 1950s, paediatrician and psychoanalyst Dr. Donald Winnicott introduced a concept that quietly revolutionised parenting research: the "good enough" mother.
His insight was simple but radical: no child needs a perfect parent. They need someone decent, warm, good-intentioned, doing their best even on bad days, who loves them limitlessly, and crucially, who repairs when they get it wrong. That repair is where the magic happens. Bowlby later folded this into attachment theory: being responsive "often enough" is what builds secure bonds.
Every time you choose "best" over "good enough," you're modelling something. You're teaching your kids, your team, your partner, and yourself that worth is earned through flawlessness, and that anything less means you fall short. Every time you miss and come back, you're modelling something else: that humans make mistakes, that ruptures can be repaired, and that worth isn't conditional. B+ over perfection: repair builds resilience, secure attachment teaches the nervous system to regulate, and self-compassion improves mood, while self-critical perfectionism does the opposite.
The same idea echoes through modern couples research. Gottman's decades of observational work found that stable, satisfying relationships aren't conflict-free; they're characterised by significantly more positive than negative interactions during conflict, and crucially, by the ability to repair when things go off. Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), one of the most empirically supported couples therapies, works from exactly the same premise: secure attachment and the repair itself are the therapy.
Since then, the "good enough" idea has rippled into nearly every part of life: good enough partner, good enough employee, good enough friend, and yes, good enough self. The research backs this up: self-critical perfectionism is linked to depression, burnout, and poorer well-being, while self-compassion, accepting your own "good enough-ness", is protective.
So the next time the inner critic whispers "not good enough”, remind it: a B+ in life is more than enough.
Kirstie Elliott
The Attachment Space - North Brisbane Psychology
References:
Winnicott, D.W. (1953). Transitional objects and transitional phenomena. International Journal of Psycho-Analysis, 34, 89–97.
Winnicott, D.W. (1960). The theory of the parent-infant relationship. International Journal of Psycho-Analysis, 41, 585–595.
Bowlby, J. (1969). Attachment and Loss, Vol 1: Attachment. New York: Basic Books.
Gottman, J.M. & Levenson, R.W. (1992). Marital processes predictive of later dissolution. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 63(2), 221–233.
Johnson, S.M. (2008). Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 64(7), 826–837.
Zessin, U., Dickhäuser, O., & Garbade, S. (2015). The relationship between self-compassion and well-being: A meta-analysis. Applied Psychology: Health and Well-Being, 7(3), 340–364.